Letting Go

To ‘let go” does not mean to stop caring; it means to
accept that I can’t do it for someone else.
To ‘let go” is not to cut myself off; it is the realization
I can’t control another.
To ‘let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from
the natural consequences of the choices we make.
To ‘let go” is to acknowledge that which I cannot change
and to pursue that which I can.
To ‘let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the
outcome is out of my hands.
To ‘let go” is not to try to change or blame another; it is
to make the most of myself.
To ‘let go” is not to care for but to care about.
To ‘let go” is not to fix but to be supportive.
To ‘let go” is not to judge but to allow another to be a
human being.
To ‘let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the
outcomes but to allow other to effect their own destinies.
To ‘let go” is not to be protective; it is to permit
another to face reality.
To ‘let go” is not to deny but to accept.
To ‘let go” is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to
search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.
To ‘let go” is not to adjust everything to my own desires
but to take each day as it comes and to cherish myself in it.
To ‘let go” is not to criticize and regulate anybody but to
try to become what I dream I can be.
To ‘let go” is not regret the past nor fear the future but
to grow and live in the present.
To ‘let go” is to forgive, not to condone.
To ‘let go” is to free myself of my collection of past
hurts and resentments.
To ‘let go” is to fear less and to love more.



The most loving form of detachment I have found has been forgiveness. Instead of thinking of it as an eraser to wipe another’s slate clean or a gavel that I pound to pronounce someone “not guilty,” I think of forgiveness as a scissors.

I use it to cut the strings of resentment that bind me to a problem or a past hurt. By releasing resentment, I set myself free.

When I am consumed with negativity over another person’s behavior, I have lost my focus. I needn’t tolerate what I consider unacceptable, but wallowing in negativity will not alter the situation. If there is action to take, I am free to take it. Where I am powerless to change the situation, I will turn it over to my Higher Power. By truly letting go, I detach and forgive.

When my thoughts are full of bitterness, fear, self-pity, and dreams of revenge, there is little room for love or for the quiet voice of guidance within me. I am willing to love myself enough to admit that resentments hold me back, and then I can let them go.

Today’s reminder
Every time I try to tighten the noose of resentment around someone’s neck, I am really only choking myself. Today I will practice forgiveness instead.

“A part of me wants to cling to old resentments, but I know that the more I forgive, the better my life works.”

“From Courage to Change” copyright 1992, by Al-anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.